


negotiation

by vindicatedtruth (behindtintedglass)



Series: falling in love (with conversations) [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 07:42:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16530341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/behindtintedglass/pseuds/vindicatedtruth
Summary: Along with resurrection comes a long period of recuperation. Bored from being confined to sickbay, Kirk comms his First Officer—and what follows is a surreal conversation of logical revelations, and most importantly: a negotiation.





	negotiation

**Author's Note:**

> Post Star Trek: Into Darkness. Takes place after Kirk wakes up from his coma. 
> 
> (Also, I couldn't resist referencing the original series in there, too.)

 

 

“… Spock?”

“Is something the matter, Captain? Shall I need to wake Doctor McCoy?”

“No, don’t, Bones will _kill_ me—”

“I believe Doctor McCoy’s duty is to prevent exactly that.”

“Sorry, wrong choice of words, I’m—I’m being stupid.”

“I ask your forgiveness as well, Captain. It is not my intention to be curt, I am simply alarmed by the timing of this call.”

“Sorry, wow, how many times have I already said sorry tonight—”

“You need not trouble yourself, Captain, it has only been twice.”

“Oh Spock. I have missed y—”

“… Captain?”

“Your jokes. I haven’t laughed like that in a while.”

“Understandable, as you have been in an induced coma for sixteen point seven days. And Vulcans do not joke.”

“Yeah? Could have fooled me.”

“Never, Captain.”

“It’s Jim, Spock. You’re off-duty, right?”

“Indeed, though I must again inquire if you require anything from me at this moment.”

“Sorry, Spock. Did I wake you?”

“I am presently not sleeping, otherwise I would not have been awake to answer your comm.”

“Right. Obviously. You sure Vulcans don’t joke? ‘Cause you’re being pretty sassy.”

“My apologies, Jim.”

“No, don’t, I actually—I actually miss you being like this.”

“This?”

“Sassing me around and keeping my head from becoming too big.”

“Should your cranium expand from its normal human measurement, I believe the phenomenon will fall under Doctor McCoy’s purview.”

“Spock, I swear to god, you missed your calling as a stand-up comedian.”

“There is no need to be insulting, Captain.”

“We’re back to Captain now, eh? I missed getting under your clothes.”

“… Jim?”

“ _Skin._ Getting under your skin. Jesus, sorry, the anaesthesia’s making me all loopy.”

“Perhaps you require more rest, Jim, as you have now started calling me by the name of a religious Messiah.”

“I’ve been sleeping for—how long was that again? Seventeen days?”

“Sixteen point seven.”

“So nearly seventeen then.”

“If you say so.”

“It annoys you that I’m not being precise, doesn’t it?”

“You seem to gain some form of amusement in insisting to be illogical.”

“You enjoy calling me out for it. I dare you to deny it. Vulcans can’t lie, right?”

“Indeed. I admit it is… heartening to hear from you again.”

“I’m… I’m glad too. I’m… I’m really sorry.”

“For what?”

“For worrying you. For worrying everyone.”

“You singlehandedly saved the entire crew, Jim, I do not believe it calls for an apology.”

“Don’t you start. Don’t think I didn’t pester Sulu for details of what was happening on the bridge while I was too busy dying—”

“Jim _._ ”

“Sorry, yeah, I shouldn’t joke about that, but you don’t get to scold me about _that,_ Mister Spock, when you were so willing to die yourself, choosing to be left behind like that just to save everyone else—”

“ _Jim._ ”

“I mean sure, I understand the order to abandon ship, but doesn’t that include _yourself_? Look who’s being illogical now.”

“… Jim. Am I correct in deducing that you are angry with me?”

“No. Yes. Maybe.”

“I… fail to understand how those answers co-exist simultaneously.”

“You did the exact same thing my Dad did.”

“… Ah.”

“It’s just—I _get_ duty, alright? I get being responsible for the crew, and yeah I’ve learned my lesson too, from Khan and Marcus, but—”

“But you do not relish the idea of me dying in the same way as your father.”

“Jesus, Spock. I don’t _relish_ the idea of you dying at _all_. Why did you think I came back for you on Nibiru? That wasn’t out of _duty_.”

“I know, Jim.”

“Do you, Spock? Do you _really_?”

“Yes. For it is not out of duty that I nearly killed Khan, myself.”

“… Spock. I—”

“Had Nyota not informed me that Khan was needed alive in order for the slimmest chance, however minuscule, to resurrect you, I am not certain I would have been able to stop myself from avenging your thankfully brief death.”

“That… that doesn’t sound logical, Spock.”

“Indeed, Jim. I have long since accepted that I am prone to illogic whenever I am with you.”

“Is that… bad?” 

“I suppose it remains to be seen.”

“… Oh.”

“It does, however, make me understand the Ambassador a little better.”

“You mean… the other you? The older you?”

“The _other_ Ambassador, Jim.”

“Oh. You mean _your_ Dad. You could have just said so. Look at you though, growing up to be just like him. I mean, in the future. Maybe. If that’s what you want.”

“Perhaps. Just as you turned out to be just like your own father.”

“Yeah well, I’m not the one who told everyone to abandon ship so he can be a hero.”

“… Jim. May I ask _why_ it upsets you that I made the same choice as your father?”

“Because I saw what his death did to Mom, alright? It’s like… a part of her died along with Dad, so I never really got to know her. Not completely.”

“… I grieve with thee, James.”

“I… thank you, Spock. I’m… I’m not mad at you, okay? I guess I’m just… scared.”

“Of what?”

“Going on without you. Like Mom did after she lost Dad. I… I can’t do that. I’m not as strong as her.”

“Jim. You are more than capable, as you have no doubt proven after saving the ship and the crew—”

“I don’t mean as a Captain, Spock, though you do make me so much better at my job. I just… I _need_ you, Spock, so don’t—don’t go sacrificing yourself like that, alright?”

“Jim. Forgive me, but… I cannot make a promise that is impossible for me to keep.”

“… Figures. It’s illogical, right?”

“It is not logical for me to vow to place my life above something I deem far more valuable.”

“Let me guess. Your _duty_?”

“No, Jim. That is not what is most important to me.”

“Then what can _possibly_ be more important than your own _life_?”

“You.”

“… What?”

“When the Ambassador chose to marry Amanda Grayson, he did so with the full knowledge that he was going against his duties as a Vulcan. Even now, when the near-extinction of our race necessitates the bearing of more Vulcan offspring, my father cannot find it in himself to marry another. It is illogical, and yet… perhaps not so.”

“Spock—”

“Because it is not illogical to hold the one you love most far above everything else. Not when it is the reason, the purpose, the fulfilment of your being.”

“Spock. Please, just—what are you saying?”

“Do you not understand, Jim?”

“I don’t want to _mis_ understand something I’m desperately hoping isn’t just me stupidly projecting my own dumb feelings, because I don’t wanna be wrong about this, because false hope is the worst form of _torture_ , because—”

“Why did you come back for me, Jim?”

“ _Jesus_ , Spock, you _know_ why.”

“I do, Jim. Do you?”

“… Because I don’t wanna end up like my Mom, or your Dad. I don’t—I don’t want to have to learn to live without the most important person to me.”

“Without the one you love most.”

“So you should understand why I ask you to not sacrifice yourself, Spock. There are many things in the world I can sacrifice in the line of duty, for the greater good and all that, to save the universe. You… you are the one thing I _can’t_.”

“Then you must also understand why I cannot promise that I will never give up my life to save yours.”

“… Okay.”

“Jim… why are you laughing _now_?”

“As far as romantic confessions go, this is… the most _logical_ conversation I ever had.”

“If I may borrow your parlance, I dare you to deny that you enjoy it.”

“God help me, I do. Spock?”

“Yes, Jim?”

“I love you anyway.”

“I know.”

“ _Spock_.”

“Taluhk nash-veh k’dular, ashayam.”

“Starting with the dirty talk now, are we?”

“I am not, in fact, currently attempting to seduce you, though I am gratified to know it is effective on you with minimal effort on my part.”

“Cheeky bastard.”

“That is politically incorrect, as my parents were married before I was conceived. Furthermore, I fail to see how I am cheeky, for as you may have observed, I have prominent cheekbones and a strong jawline.”

“Modest too. You’re lucky I love you.”

“... I am indeed, Jim. You do make me believe in luck.”

“And this, Spock, bringing me back from the dead? You make me believe in miracles.”

 

 


End file.
